Give Your Children the Gift of Responsibility!
One year we got our then four-year-old fish for his birthday, but we weren’t really giving him pets as a gift, we were giving him the gift of responsibility. The fish didn’t last long, but we learned a lot through that experience and now that little boy is working on earning money to put towards buying a dog.
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As Christian parents we want our children to have strength of character, and one of those characters is responsibility. We want our boys to grow into responsible men. Men who are willing to accept the consequences, good or bad, for their actions, men who are ready and willing to work hard for their families.
How does one give their child the gift of responsibility?
1. Assign them chores.
Chores help your child learn community and show them that they are needed to help the family function well. They give your child a sense of accomplishment when they see what they have done. They stretch your child to grow if your child learns to do something that they weren’t sure they could do. Check out the chore cards we use with our toddlers here!
Our toddlers don’t normally have chores that they do every day, but here are some that they help with regularly:
- make the bed
- sweep the floor
- pick up toys
- match shoes in the entry way
- dry silverware and put them away
I’ve also found that toddlers will clean pretty much anything if you give them a wet cleaning cloth. They LOVE to wipe things down!
Here is a list of chores that your toddler CAN do and here is a board dedicated to character training on Pinterest that has some other chore lists for all ages!
2. Make them face the consequences.
Normally when we hear the word consequences we automatically think of bad consequences, but really we have consequences for every action, whether good or bad. The definition of the word consequences is: The result or affect of an action or condition.
Natural consequences are often the best training tool. Don’t wear your coat, okay, freeze on the walk to and from the car. Don’t take care of your outside toys and keep them out of the driveway, perfect, they will be crushed and then go into the trash. Put some extra work into this chore and surprise me with the results and you will get paid a small amount. Do each chore on your chart with a good attitude and you’ll get something special at the end of the week.
Children need to know that their actions have reactions. It can be hard as a busy momma to stay consistent with enforcing/enacting consequences, but if we can do this, it is so beneficial for our children.
3. Model responsibility for your children.
One year when my husband was coaching basketball he had a problem with his team and showing up for practices. Some players were benched for a few quarters because they had been told if they didn’t show up to a practice then they wouldn’t be able to play. Most players took it well, and it was a lesson that I hope they learned from. They didn’t show respect to the time and commitment of their coach and they weren’t being responsible to follow through with their side of the contract. {There wasn’t really a contract, but they wanted to be a part of the team.}
Show your children that it is important to be to work on time, to follow through with your commitments, to pay your bills, etc. Children want to see you do the things that you tell them are important, so model the behavior you want them to have.
4. Let them have a pet.
Maybe you want to start with fish like we did, just to make sure that your child is up to learning about how to take care of a pet and then doing what is needed, or maybe you live on a farm and your child has a pony.
One thing that I have found helpful when talking to my boys about the importance of taking care of their pets, is to show them in scripture where we are told to take good care of our animals {Prov 12:10, Prov 27:23}. Animals may not have souls or feelings, but we do need to show them respect and take good care of them.
5. Give them responsible heroes to look up to.
Reading aloud to your children has so many benefits, one of these is giving them heroes who depict character that we want our children to have. Stories like Farmer Boy and the other Little House books give your children a glimpse into past history and show them how much children used to have to do. Biographies of other great men and women, along with fictional stories, show how these heroes were responsible as adults in times of great trial and suffering. Check out Read Aloud Revival and The Read Aloud Family for great book lists to get you started!
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Helping Your Child Develop a Strong Work Ethic
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That is a great way to start teaching responsibility to kids.. Goldfish can be tricky sometimes though.
I thinkbwe are starting to figure that out. I’m starting to think we brought them home sick, the last one just recently died and I know he had some sort of parasite. Now we get to empty everything out and wash it all and try again. :}
Happy belated birthday, Seth!! I don’t have kids, but these sound like great life lessons for your child. 🙂 What a great way to give a fun gift and teach him something at the same time!
Thank you, Emily! I hope this is lifelong lesson, I know it will need repeating and we will have moments of failure and grace, but I hope we have a fun way to teach this lesson.
Love this! Things have been so crazy in our lives these past few months that I’ve kind of thrown chores out the window as we’ve moved from place to place. I’m looking forward to getting settled into our new and final house in a few weeks and finally getting back into a normal routine. It’s so important to teach kids responsibly and consequences. It does so much to help shape them into responsible adults!
I can’t even imagine trying to keep routine and chores up with the littles while moving across the country!
I also can’t wait to see pictures of your new house!
So my little boy is only(!) 3, but ever since he was about 18 months, I started making him pick up his toys. If he wouldn’t, I would literally take his hand and force him to pick them up. He learned pretty quickly to do it when I told him to. I follow through if I tell him to clean up and he doesn’t. He is pretty good about it now, and will often do it even if I haven’t told him to. I have babysat for a couple families where this is not an expectation, and things are a mess. It drives me nuts! Especially when stuff is left all over. I am not the best housekeeper myself, but I do try to put things away if I know where to put them (I do have a problem with some homeless things though). I want to train my son to be neat because I think it makes things much easier as you go through life to have those kinds of habits.
He also will help me with other chores but I need to expand his duties. When he is a bit older, I plan that he will be the ones to take care of the pets and chickens.
Starting these habits young is definitely the way to do it Liz! I. Is going to have a lucky wife. Not every boy’s mom makes him take care of things. 🙂
Wish it was easier when they are 21 and in college…missing the toddler days!! LOL
I love the idea of giving the gift of responsibility. Some things you can talk about and explain until you’re blue in the face, but the way to really learn it is to do it. Love this post-so many great ideas!
Thanks for coming by, Tarynn!
I really love this! These are such important things and these lessons start early. Kids thrive on this kind of stuff and it translates into bigger things later in life and, as you said, makes them into responsible servants, givers, caretakers and lovers of their families. The gift of responsibility is indeed a beautiful gift! Great post!
Great Idea, the gift of responsibility. Mommy was responsible for two betas, and we got some weird fungus that wouldn’t go away no matter how much I cleaned the tank. After Fishy #2, I was over it. He died two days before our move, so she forgot once she got into her new bedroom.
I need to give my 3 year old some responsibilities. Great Post!
I’m all for responsibility for youngsters. And I force myself to be quiet when the time comes for my daughter to learn the hard way. But I admire you for taking on fishes! I am not that brave 🙂
Love it. I’ve begun giving our three year old responsibilities, and he actually enjoys it (mostly). He loves feeding the pets but hates picking up his toys. Life lessons!
I LOVE this. It kind of kills me how society raises kids these days. Girls to be selfish, boys to be selfish, etc. I definitely want my kids to be raised responsibly.