Encouragement for Weary Stay at Home Moms

Are you tired of feeling like you have to justify staying home with your children? Weary of the looks you get from others when you tell them that you get to do what you’ve always dreamed of doing? Weary from doing things that seem to get overlooked all the time? Here is some encouragement for you momma, a weary stay-at-home mom, whatever you are weary of. Even if you aren’t a stay-at-home mom, I hope that you find some encouragement here.

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Mothers everywhere have my utmost admiration, whether you are a momma who works outside the home {full or part time}, a mother who works from home, or a stay at home mom. Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs on the planet, and as I often find myself saying it is one of the most refining as well. You’ll never know all your character flaws until your children are used by the Holy Spirit to polish you up and make you a shiny reflection of Christ.

We know motherhood is hard and can be difficult, so today I want to share some encouragement for stay-at-home moms. It will be applicable to all moms, but mostly it is for those weary mommas who are having a rough patch and just need some love.

Why is it Taboo to “JUST” be a Mom?

One thing that I’ve been wondering lately is why is it still taboo in our society to be “just” a stay at home mom? Even in the small town where I live, I’ve gotten some funny looks when I say I’m a stay at home mom, with the immediate thought that I should justify my answer by adding that I also teach piano lessons or work with women through pregnancy and labor as a doula. 

Our culture has the idea that every mom who stays home also needs a side hustle. Some way to earn income and put something in the family pot. But why? Why can’t we just accept that some women want to “just” be a mom, and that some women don’t want to burn the candle at both ends trying to run a home business.

If you get tired of people telling you that you need to add some hide hustle to your busy day, tell them that stay-at-home-moms should be getting paid $175k for the work that you do, list off the duties that you have, and then ignore them.

Momma, if you want to be simply a mom who stays home with her babies, you have the freedom to do so. Don’t feel the need to try and measure up to the world’s standards. God has given you this passion for you home and family and it is beautiful!

Even though you have this passion, you can be burned out and exhausted. Walking the floors with the sick infant, calming a toddler who doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions, refereeing older littles who just can’t get along…it wears on us. It can leave us feeling drained and we just don’t know what to do.

Mothering Images We Can Find in the Gospels

In this moment, I want you to consider Jesus who shows us many pictures of parenting in the gospels. Look at this example from the gospel of Mark and, if you get a free moment, check it out for yourself and ponder it for a bit. {It’s also a really good exercise to look at these pictures of motherhood/parenting in the gospels, you’ll gain a lot of new insight in to your role as parent.}

“The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot form all the towns and got there ahead of them. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things.” Mark 6:30-34~ ESV

Does this sound familiar at all? No leisure to eat. Someone is always coming and going. Someone is always requesting something from you. Someone always needs your attention…you try to get away for a moment in your room for some chocolate, or just to go to the bathroom by yourself..and the littles just keep running after you. They know where you are…

You’re an image of Jesus to your little ones. You’re a shepherd to little lambs.

Instead of getting frustrated and angrily dealing with the children, let’s have compassion on them. Let’s remember they are children and they need bringing up. You are the shepherd of your little ones. You are an image of their Savior.

Eventually in Mark chapter six Jesus did get some time alone to pray. This time with prayer was one he used to connect with the Father and I’m sure he felt a new strength, more empathy, and a supernatural rest after taking the time to get away. In the very next chapter of Mark Jesus enters a house and doesn’t want anyone to know that he is there, but his entrance is noticed even though he wishes it wasn’t. Isn’t that so relatable too?

We can sometimes feel really guilty that we need to get away for some time to breathe. But I want you to know that you don’t need to feel guilty for needing time alone, momma! Even Jesus needed alone time.

The work you do in the secret dark hours, or the work that no one else seems to notice, it is valuable and your Heavenly Father watches.

Just like He sees when you pray in secret {Matthew 6:7}, God sees you performing those tasks that have become mundane and dreary. He sees when you do them with joy and a servants heart. He knows that you are pouring out your love for him. He also sees the days that they are done in frustration and hurt. And he has compassion on us.

He wants to gently lead us through these years of young motherhood. Maybe that means you need to relax some standards, maybe you need to make a chore list, maybe it means you could hire a housekeeper or get a mother’s helper a few days a week. Another possibility is that you need to go through and declutter/minimize what you have, although just because you do that doesn’t mean that your house will always be clean.

If housework is something that is stressing you out, use a few minutes to think over the pain points. Is it lack of routine, the fact that you have four children four and under, you are struggling with motivation or doing the same thing day in and day out without recognition? Identify the root issue and then make a game plan to tackle it and win.

There are also times that we just need to power through, adjust our attitudes, and reframe our thoughts about what we are doing remembering that as we do the dishes and scrub the toilet, we are serving and mirroring God. I love these thoughts from Courtney Reissig in Glory in the Ordinary:

“Another way to think of God being hidden in our work is to say that we are imaging God as we work. You and I were created to work because God himself works. It is a function of being image bearers. Everything we do, whether it is work in the home or outside the home, is imaging God who made us to work…The work of the home is nothing to be ashamed of. It is valuable, important work. It is necessary work. it is work that God sees as integral to his work in this world. In fact, beacuse you bear his image, you are imaging him with every task you accomplish in your home or on any given day…With every ordinary task you do, you are bringing order into this chaotic world that we live in. While it might feel hardly God-like, I assure you it is.”

Stay at home moms, know your worth. 

Besides that 175k+ you should be making, you are imaging Christ to your littles.

You are making this world a better place.

You are leaving a legacy of faith and good work ethic for your children.

You are training the next generation of soldiers for Christ.

The love that you show to your husband and children will be remembered when they rise up and bless you.

We all have days that are really rough, and the little years can be very tiring…

And some days it seems life would be more fun if we could go out and do something different, if the house was clean and amazingly decorated, if we could just do the things that we want to do. We get frustrated when the children just keep calling us to come see something, or help them with something, or play with them.  That is the time that we have to put aside our selfishness and think of our children..

Our children need US and they would rather have our time, attention, and love than the cleanest house or fanciest toys. And when we respond to them with compassion and grace, we are once again imaging Christ to our family.

Weary stay-at-home mom, today I want you to remember that the Holy Spirit is with you. That your attitude as you do your work around the house is leaving an impression on your children. That how you respond to those constant cries of “MOM!!” teaches your children about God and how he responds to them. But also remember, that the chores will always be there, so instead of crossing everything off on the to-do list this morning, leave the toys on the floor and the dishes in the sink a few minutes longer. Go love on your babies, because they’ll be gone before we know it. 

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The Day I Quit Mothering

Reclaiming Joy in Motherhood

Creating Islands of Peace in a Hectic Day of Mothering