Practical Tips to Become a Joy Filled Mom

I’ve been using “words” for the year for the past two years, I love how it gives me direction for goals and resolutions. I was surprised by how much my words for 2019 impacted me this year. My words {I chose two!!} were Joy and Rest. After having a dark period in the final months of 2018 I needed to find Joy again and I knew that I needed rest for my weary heart.  After some reflection I found that one area I specifically needed more joy in was motherhood…this is what I wrote about that early in the year….but there are a few more things that I have been learning so today I want to share some of that as well as some practical tips that will help you become a joy filled mom.

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I love this passage from Sally Clarkson’s book Dancing with My Heavenly Father {highly recommend it!} “If Jesus didn’t need all the trappings of this world- possesions, acceptance, a degree- and he was joyful, then seeking him, loving him, knowing him, and modeling him will be my ultimate source of joy…I have realized that it is as I ponder Jesus- think about him, study him, read about him, model him- that my life becomes more fully what it is supposed to be in all areas. Jesus is the ultimate portrait of living with joy. But even more, I have sought to understand what it means to love him with my whole heart, as he so desires. If Jesus, the man annointed with the the oil of joy and gladness, was about serving others to the point of laying down his life for them, then serving others and giving myself to the cause of Christ must be the place in which I will find joy.”

Becoming a Joy Filled Mom will most likely require suffering.

As you can see in the quote about, serving usually leads to some form of suffering or giving more than we think we have to give. It is in those moments that joy seems so far away, but it is actually very close. Remembering that we are imitating Jesus and serving as he did brings great joy! {I do not mean this to say that you should allow your family to walk over you or that you should serve to the point of burnout and breakdown. You do need to set some boundaries and remember that Jesus himself had to get away from the crowds in order to communicate with God and find some rest.}

If we read James 1:2-4, we find that joy comes through standing throughout a trial. Besides serving, joy comes through suffering. Your suffering may look different than another mommas, and/or you could find that motherhood is really a trial for you. Maybe your child is suffering with a chronic illness, or you have one that has a personaility that you don’t mesh well with, or whatever it may be, suffering and trials produce character and when we come out the other side we will be able to see, with JOY, that God was there with us through it all, and that he was using the trial for our good. 

Motherhood creates character in our own lives. I’ve been finding it isn’t just about raising the children, God uses motherhood to bring us closer to him, closer to the person he intends for us to be. I was talking to a friend and we were sharing some things that had been going on in our mothering and we both remarked that maybe all those issues that we have with our children aren’t what they may seem. Maybe God has given us those little trials we have with our children simply to produce more character in us, so that our children have a better image of Christ to imitate. 

 

Joy is also a fruit that is produced by action. If we want to be filled with joy, we need to practice being joyful. How can we do this? 

• practice gratitude- look for the ways that God has been faithful in your life, look for the little things throughout the day that show you of his love
• have fun with your children- take some time to tickle the toddler who has the best belly laugh, find jokes that make your elementary students crack up, play a game of tag at the park, teach your little ones to skip, basically be the fun mom. This was difficult for me at first because I am very goal oriented and like to get the lists done, but I can promise you that if you loosen up a little but and have fun you will find joy closer than you thought it was.
• capture your thoughts- instead of focusing on the negative all the time, focus on the positive. Reframe your thoughts about motherhood, children, {insert topic}, by immersing yourself in the Word. Plant God’s word in your heart and weed out those negative and joy destroying thoughts. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to feel sad or disappointed, however, in those moments we can also focus on the goodness and faithfulness of God.

• don’t give up in prayer- prayer can change others, but often it changes us more. Be persistent.
• take time to create islands of peace in your day to help you refocus and recharge
• create intentional time to connect with your children and find joy- as you set goals for the year, make sure that you include time to connect with each one of your children- I love Powersheets for this! 

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Teaching Our Children to be Joyful

Where to Find Joy

Reclaiming Joy in Motherhood