Oh. my. goodness.
You should have been at our house yesterday at nap time…. Actually, naptime itself was good,it was the waking up part that wasn’t so great.
Our naptime schedule goes something like this, nurse Cameron and lay him down, spend fifteen to twenty minutes reading with Seth, lay down with Seth, take a twenty minute nap, get up a do things while the boys sleep.
It goes well, except for the fact that Seth wakes up crying because I’m not in there.
Yesterday when I got up, I decided to work out while the boys were sleeping. Because of that, I was in the shower when Seth got up. I had been wondering for a while if he was crying because he didn’t know where I was and he was scared or if he was using it as a control issue. {I have been noticing lately that, like myself and most first born’s, Seth tends to try and control the situation and sometimes the means to that are his emotions.} He cried in bed for a while then started getting mad that I wasn’t responding. So he stomped down the hall, hitting the wall and screaming madly. He knew I was in the shower {our house is small and you can hear the shower through the whole house} so he plopped himself down at the end of the hallway closest to the bathroom and proceeded to throw a fit. By this point I answered him, since he was close enough to hear me over his crying, and he calmed down for a minute but once he found out I wasn’t getting out of the shower, he continued crying. He woke up the baby and made me rather frustrated as well.
After I got out of the shower we talked about being happy when we wake up, about not pitching a fit when momma can’t respond right away and being quiet so we don’t wake up others.
The one thing we didn’t talk about yesterday, that I want to visit with Seth today, is the fact that momma might not always be there when he wakes up.
The only person that will always be there for him is Jesus Christ.
Momma and others will fail him.
Momma, Daddy, family and friends may die and leave him, but there is one who will be with Seth always, that person is the one who showed the greatest love someone can show, the most humble servant, the one who brings light to darkness and sets captives free. Jesus Christ is the only one I want my son to place his whole trust in. Not that Seth shouldn’t trust others, but when we are afraid we can have peace knowing that He is there.
We probably won’t go into all the details above today, but that is a lesson I hope to impart to my boys while they are here with me.
Do you have a child who likes to control situations? How do you handle it?
I have been having fun with my camera lately, I actually got out the users guide and have been playing with different settings. I thought I would share some pictures with you of my sweet {at times} boys. 🙂
Your boys are absolutely adorbs!! You can almost feel there personality via the internet! The baby (Bella) tends to TRY to control the situation or should I say us. She wants what she wants and she wants it now. When she doesn’t get it, she falls out or starts having a tantrum. I have been ignoring her but Daddy lets her know that he doesn’t approve. When I have had enough, I let her know that she needs to cut it out. I noticed that she LOVES attention and she acts like this to see how we will respond. I am learning to pray for patience and understanding when it comes to dealing with a toddler. I guess we will be praying for each other huh? LOL
Definitely Alicia!! I could use all the prayers you have to spare! I will add you to mine as well. 🙂
That’s what I’m not sure of, do I ignore it or do we need to address it right away and deal with it before ten minutes have gone by? It usually only happens right after nap, or when he gets in trouble.
Love the pics of the kids at the end of the post. 🙂 And yes, our house is full of small (and large) control freaks.
🙂 Yay we aren’t the only house of control freaks. 🙂
They are so cute!
And yes, all of my boys try to manipulate with emotions a bit. My second, who is 8, is the hardest to deal with, since he also has Type 1 Diabetes. So many times, those emotions are very real, caused by blood sugar issues. We are still working on balancing things out!
I love the talk you plan to have with Seth. 🙂 You’ll have to post an update after your talk.
God bless!
Hmmm, I didn’t think about blood sugar issues, he is usually ready for a snack when he gets up…I’ll have to check into that.
I’ll let you know how that conversation goes. His Awana lesson actually sets it up quite well, so maybe tomorrow we can sit down and talk about it.
Shame I feel for you. I don’t know how I would handle two having naps at the same time and one waking up the other! I keep the door open when I shower so Nicky can come in and see where I am. The one time when he was small though I remember i had a head full of shampoo and I couldn’t just come, it was awful. I was wet and telling him where I was but I had to go back in and get clean!
It took a while to be able to coordinate nap times. I was not very happy that Seth woke Cameron up.. 🙁
I did have the bathroom door open, and at the end of the fit he did end up coming in, he was basically upset because I wasn’t there to carry him out of the bedroom.
They are so cute! No kids of my own here, but the triplets I worked my way through college watching did the whole control thing. Each of them in their own way. I think most kids probably have some of it in them 🙂
We have that same dinosaur stamp set 🙂
🙂 I’m sure your Nolan loves it!
The kids are so, so cute!! I should have the talk with my youngest about not always being there. When my (now) five year old was two years old, she always cried when I was not around when she woke up. She’s changed a lot now, but still gets a little upset when she can’t find me right away when she wakes up. She’ll walk down the stairs, look in the kitchen or bathrooms, and if she still can’t find me, she runs back into her bed and throws the cover over her head until she hears me around the house. No crying, but scared.
Thanks!
I have been putting off this talk for a while and it is probably time to address it and see if we can get to the bottom of the issue.
Many times it isn’t the fact that I’m not in there any more, but that I’m not there to carry him out of the bedroom.
I love that you are set on teaching your boys to have the confidence that comes along with faith in Jesus. I have not quite heard it put that way, but oh so true. To be able to self soothe is so critical. You need “You Time.” That means working out, as you mentioned, as well as making time for your personal time for prayer and reflection, as well as quality time with your husband. Far too many people get on the baby crazy-train and neglect those basic things! If you aren’t centered and feeling fantastic about your faith, marriage, and personal accomplishments, how could you ever set a good example for equilibrium for your family? Rock on lady!
Thank you! One of the things that I have been praying about is the ability to turn our everyday happenings into spiritual lessons. Not only is it goose for the boys, but it also encourages me to look for God in everything I do.
I think my little one is using starting to use crying to control the situation. I’ve been letting her cry some of it out, but we don’t have another child so she doesn’t affect anyone’s schedule but her own. I explain to her that we can’t cry just to get our way, she might get it I don’t know. It might help a little I don’t know hard to tell when they are 16 months.
God Bless you all! I am soooo past this stage in my life, but hahaha.. my dogs can do this sometimes.. umm, yup.. once a mom always a mom, even when it’s with your furries.. My daughter, sister and brother all have little one’s. I know explaining to kids helps some, but they’re kids afterall and I’ve found giving them a job, a purpose, a goal can help them learn what you are trying to talk about.. i’m sure you can google the heck out of it, but some ideas that come to mind.. Giving Seth a book or a toy or a quiet game that is designated ONLY for ‘wake up’ time. He wakes up and interacts with that ‘assigned’ task. Maybe it’s teaching him to make his bed? Maybe it’s coloring a picture of his dreams. Maybe it’s teaching him the song ‘bend and stretch’ and he can do that when he wakes up. We all love ‘purpose’ and crave ‘direction’. Kids just don’t always grasp reasoning.. try giving him the tools to be a better waker upper and reward him when he does it soooo very well! ????
Great idea! And one that we may have to implement soon. 🙂 He has lots of books that he likes, so maybe we will take one or two of his favorites and designate them after nap only. 🙂
I remember the day when I could finally close the bathroom door all the way and have a shower ‘alone’. Not that that stops the calling through the door to me, or the arguments that sometimes break out while Mom isn’t around. But they know that the 5 minutes I ‘m in the shower I’m not far away, but I’m in my own world and unless it’s an emergency petty arguments can wait and they can figure things out on their own. Your peace will come, it won’t be long.
Thanks Crystal! 🙂
Your boys are so cute! I think kids want their moms more when they are on the shower or on the phone. And I do see how it’s a type of control that they like to have, to ensure that your attention is always on them and no one else.
They always get louder when I am on the phone. I remember my mom always said the same thing as well. 🙂
We have been talking with our daughter about God and she is getting into the routine of saying her bedtime prayers. She has also been having nightmares and says she is often scared at night. We always tell her to talk to God anytime she feels scared.
What a great thing to teach your daughter! I should add that to my list of things to teach the boys.