I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the state of my home, the love and care I provide to my husband and children, and how these reflect my love for my Heavenly Father, and realized that I need to take time evaluating priorities. A few weeks ago, my friend Sarah from Christ Centered Mama asked me for help with a post that she was working on of tips for Christian bloggers. The answer I gave her was convicting to me, and I truly believe that the answer came directly from God to show me an area that I need to work on.
“As a Christian blogger, I have had to come to the realization that I can NOT leave my other duties behind because I have an opportunity to minister to other mothers. I must first love God, love my husband, and love my family, then I may take the time to love other women in the season of littles. If I cannot keep up on things my blogging needs to be the first thing to go. If I am slacking in keeping my home in order, I need to reevaluate my priorities, because while God may have given me a small platform to share encouragement and understanding, he first gave me my husband and children first.”
But even though I know these things in my head, I find them hard to keep forefront in my mind. I get distracted with all the blogging social media stuff: how to grow your following, how to reach more people, how to make money on your blog, etc.…. or things for my work as a doula, I’ve been chasing these things lately and doing God and my family a great disservice. Instead of focusing my heart where it should be, I have been focusing on things that may be good, but aren’t my first calling.
It all comes down to my priorities. As one who believes that God has called me to keep my home and to love my husband and children as I bring glory to him, I must make those things my top priorities. I MUST put God, Family, Home first on my list, when I do not, I’m not completing my first calling as follower of Christ, wife, and mother.
Evaluate Your Priorities as a Christian, Wife, and Momma.
We must evaluate our priorities on a regular basis. When we don’t we start to wander away from the things that are truly most important and start floundering in what everyone else says that we should be doing.
As a believer in Jesus Christ: this could be apparent by the want to be in all the Bible studies, but not really studying Scripture and applying it, rather you “look” like the good momma who can get to all the things. Or it could be taking a job on the worship team at the expense of family time on an already limited family time season.
As a wife: this could be creating elaborate meals because that is what all the other ladies on Pinterest are doing even though you know your husband doesn’t like to try different ethnic foods. It could be trying to do things with your spouse that neither of you like because the latest magazine said it was sure to bring that spark back into your relationship with your husband, but both of you end up frustrated and angry instead.
For mothers: this could look like spending all your time picking out the perfect back to school clothes and items for your child, but forgetting to prepare them for relationships with others in school. Or planning parties that cost hundreds of dollars but ignoring the need that your child has for one on one time.
If you have never sat down and thought about your priorities in life, I highly urge you to take some time now and do so.
Want some ideas?
Priorities for a Christian can and should include: bringing glory to God in all that we do, loving our neighbors {PSA this includes our family}, and being Christ to those around us.
Priorities for a wife will be discussed later in this post.
Priorities for a mother will depend on each mother, her children, and her work load.
Why Christian wives and mothers NEED to evaluate their priorities. #christianmom #christianblogger #momblogger Click To Tweet
Disconnect from Social Media for a While
Taking some time away from social media can be extremely helpful as you seek to find priorities and make sure they are really the ones that you want.
I was recently able to disconnect on a family camping trip, and it was then that I began to feel conviction from what I had shared with Sarah. For me, as a blogger, this has meant that the Facebook page and Instagram account haven’t been updated as much as before. I have more free time to do the things that need to be done when I’m not constantly checking to see how things are going.
It has enabled me to see areas in my character that I need to work on, including getting approval from man in the form of Facebook likes or Instagram hearts, and a propensity towards quick anger, rather than a heart that seeks to understand the situation then speak calmly.
Media is NOT the cause of these issues, however when I immerse myself in the humongous internet world, I can escape the sinfulness in myself and put dealing with things off repeatedly.
Talk to Your Spouse about their Expectations about Your Role in the Home
Sitting down with my husband and asking him what five things he would like to see done when he gets home from work was very eye opening for me. I thought that he would rattle off a list super quickly, and because of that thought I was scared to ask him what he was expecting. However, he thought for a minute and then gave me three things he would like to see: the dishes washed, the bed made, and the living room floor mostly clean. When I announced my surprise that he only had three things, he told me that we have littles, we homeschool, and we also have other random commitments. He knows that there will always be house work and eventually the house will be clean more often.
Make Your Priorities THE Priority in Your Days
I have a planner that I LOVE. And most of the time I use it daily, however I have recently gotten out of the habit of using it, and I can totally tell.
So, I’m trying to use my planner more consistently again, and it has made our days go so much better! I know what I need to get done, and I can focus on those things instead of wandering around aimlessly through random things.
Make a list at the beginning of the week that has all the things that you want to get done. Then make a list of things that NEED to be done. Concentrate on the things that NEED to be done first, then get to the things that you want done. Included in the things that NEED to be done should be the things that you and your spouse discussed. It may help if you keep in mind this thought: “I am a servant of Jesus Christ. I am a wife and mother by the will of GOD.”
By accomplishing your priorities first, you will gain energy and feel like you have done something important each day. {At least I feel that way, anyways. 😊} By doing the things that God has called you to do, while they may be tiring and repetitive, you will be filled with an abiding joy and peace.
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The Ministry of a Mother’s Hands
Encouragement for the Spiritually Hungry Momma
Such a great reminder that even when we are focused on blogging or our jobs or whatever other responsibilities we are handling on top of our family, those have to come only after we’ve taken the time to nourish our relationship with Christ. I love the idea of discussing household expectations with your spouse! (And this inspired me to start requiring beds be made in the morning. V loves getting into her freshly made bed!)
Making beds is so easy, I don’t know why I always put it off!! 🙂
WOw this is amazing, I really struggle with this too, making your kids the priority is so hard when there is so much “stuff” to get done but at the end of the day it’s just stuff and not what is most important. I love where you said “Make your priorities the priority of in your days. It’s so simple yet there are so many distractions to pull us away from our focus as a wife and mother.
Yes! And then there is the balance between making the littles a priority while still showing them that the world doesn’t revolve around them. It can be so hard sometimes!!
I just want to say that this post couldn’t have been found at a more timely moment in my life. Here I am at close to midnight searching for more ways to pray for my growing toddler on Pinterest and then I stumble upon this. I know it’s God because it addresses many of the concerns I’ve expressed in prayer. Thank you for your transparency and also pointing your readers back to the true source: Christ
Hi Timilah, sorry for the delay in response…I’m so glad that you found this encouraging! I hope that you and your family are doing well and seeking Him together!
This is something I am sure many Christian wife and momma bloggers face. I know it is true for myself at least. It is so true when you say “I MUST put God, Family, Home first on my list, when I do not, I’m not completing my first calling as follower of Christ, wife, and mother.” I feel this very same conviction. Thank you for sharing and for the tips as well, very helpful!!
I loved this post so much! It really convicted me. Thank you for being open and honest with other moms about your struggles in this area. You’re right that our first calling is as wives and mothers; everything else is secondary. I’m definitely sharing this! 🙂
Amen, amen, amen! So much truth and conviction in your words, Rebekah! Thank you for sharing what God is teaching you and encouraging other mamas to keep first things first! Loved this!
You’re welcome!! It really wasn’t something I wanted to share, because I like to be on top of things, but I do want to be honest here and share the things that I am learning on this crazy journey of motherhood. And it seems from other comments, I’m not alone in the struggle to keep priorities straight!
God has been convicting me in the same way! The message I’ve been getting is “be more present in your real life than you are online.”
That is such a good message to get!! And one that I have been thinking about. I don’t want my boys to grow up seeing me always attached to a phone or laptop…it can be a struggle!
Thank you so much for this reminder! I too am a christian wife, mama, and blogger. I find myself CONSTANTLY having to keep my priorities in check. And you are so right! When we do things God’s way, we seem to accomplish so much more- in ways that just don’t make human sense!
I can totally relate to struggling with comparing myself to the other women I see on social media. I tend to get so focused on being like them that I forget Who I really need to be chasing after. Thank you for this reminder!
Sydney Meek | meeklyloving.wordpress.com
You’re welcome, Sydney!! Thanks for coming by!!
OH, this was much needed for me tonight. I’ll be the first to admit, the last few days, I’ve been struggling with this! It’s been frustrating not being able to just sit and write, but I have to remember, God, Husband, Family. Everything else can wait. 🙂 Thanks so much for the reminder.
You’re welcome, Kaycee! I’m so glad that you found this helpful…I was hesitant to write this, because I am definitely NOT one to be teaching on priorities as a Christian wife and mother, but I feel like it was something I really needed to flesh out, and from the responses on this post, it is clear that God was able to use it to encourage other mommas, and I’m so glad for that!!
Doesn’t God work in wonderous ways!?! I have been torn on whether or not it’s in God’s will for me to continue blogging. Today, I read this. While I know what my priorities are, I really haven’t been treating them as priorities. God has really made it clear, through your words, that I need to put blogging aside for a time. While that time is dependent upon how long it takes me to get back on track, I am committed to making God’s priorities MY priorities again.
By the way, which planner are you using?
Hi Tami, so glad that you found this helpful!! I pray that you will be able to get things straightened out, so that you feel like you’re doing what God wants you to do! It can be so hard to keep our priorities in order, but it is something that we must do!
I am using the Brilliant Life Planner this year, I love it! There are still some features that I could put to better use, but for now I just stick with the basics. 🙂 I will probably get it again next year.
This is so Good. I totally get my priorities all mixed up. It usually has to do with social media. I needed this reality check!
Isn’t it so mice to know that we aren’t alone in our struggles! Thanks for coming by, Tiffany!!
Rebekah- thank you for this beautiful post; for your openness and honesty… but mostly for your willingness to share your conviction! That isn’t always the easiest thing to share. 🙂 And thank you for linking.
🙂 thanks for coming over to read!!!!
Great post!
I had similar prompting over the past few months and have disconnected a lot. And God brought blessings out of it. Plus, by taking some time out I was able to evaluate things and refocus to move forward.
We really do need to die to self DAILY. Pick up our crosses. Meet our families’ needs first before meeting our own, or those of our readers.
Thank you for speaking out on this important topic!