To the Momma Who Wants to be Mary
{Dear Momma letter below}
My friend Amber from Let It Be Glory has done a couple of guest posts for me here about breastfeeding and adoption. I was super honored and excited when she got a hold of me a couple of months ago and asked me to write a guest post for her blog.
I know I have shared with you all that my blogging ambition has gone down the drain this pregnancy and Amber has patiently waited for long enough for this post.
So finally today I am sharing on Amber’s blog some tips I have learned on accepting this season of my life that I am in. It is the season of littles and it is the Martha season of my life.
Dear Momma of Littles,
Like me, you may want to be a Mary.
You wish you had the time to spend an hour in Scripture.
You wish you had the energy to get up half an hour, or even fifteen minutes, earlier to have prayer and a cup of coffee in silence.
And when you don’t…. well momma guilt sets in.
Again.
Because if we aren’t getting up in the early morning we can’t be the Proverbs 31 woman.
If we can’t get time to be alone then we aren’t like Jesus Christ who in his busy and stressful life made time to climb a mountain and pray.
So we go to the store and we buy a book on mothering or a women’s devotional. What do we find? That we must make being Mary a priority or we are missing something.
Please don’t get me wrong. We do need to spend time with God. We do need to spend time in His Word, and we do need to let go of our guilt when our attempts to be Mary fail.
Because Mary might not be our season right now.
Dear momma, it might not be your Mary season right now, you may need to accept your role as Martha. Just change your attitude a little... Click To TweetDear momma who wants to be Mary, can you accept that now might be your Martha season?
The season of surviving toddlerhood, the season of pregnancy, the season of nursing, of diapers and potty training, this season will pass.
This time you are in right now: trying to balance your wifely duties, your mothering, housekeeping, work, school, spiritual life, physical fitness, and personal developement, this season is busy and it will pass. It is probably a time that you need to focus on serving with a good attitude, and a focused and thankful heart rather than yearning for something that may not be possible now.
You Will Not Always Be Martha
But, dear momma, don’t be discouraged, because like all other seasons of life, your Martha season will probably eventually pass.
Being Martha is not a bad thing. The reason that Jesus rebuked her was becuase her heart was not in the right place while serving.
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
Instead of serving with a joyful heart Martha was worrying; worrying about her sister, about how she was going get dinner on the table for her guests, and probably worrying if the bathroom was clean enough. {Oh wait, that last part is me when guests are over.}
Mary choose to set her heart and mind on Jesus. She was focused on what was and what is important.
If our hearts is focused on what is important, our serving will be just as pleasing as an hour spent in quiet time. Click To TweetWe can be Martha and not feel guilty. If our hearts and minds are focused on what is important, our serving will be just as pleasing as an hour spent in quiet time creating beautiful journal pages with our favorite Bible verses.
Sometimes it is our task to serve.
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24
Dear Momma, do everything for His glory and accept that being Martha is a season you are in.
Lots of love and prayers for those with me in this season.
Head over to Amber’s blog to read my five favorite practical way to set our minds on Jesus like Mary while serving others like Martha.
If you like what you read today go ahead and share it with the world!
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i guess it’s all in the heart 😀
Yep!! Thanks for coming by and reading, I hope you were encouraged or at least driven to thinking about it. 🙂
This is a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing!
What an interesting thought you bring up. It’s true that there are many different seasons in our lives. I think it is always important to try and seek rest and peace in the Lord when we can, but like you said there are also times when we must just serve and serve with a joyful heart. I think it is of course always a balance between the two. Thank you for sharing your heart on this topic. I pray you get some Mary time soon!
Yes, I hope I didn’t come across as stating that we didn’t need time with the Lord, because He knows I most definitely do! But I also think that if we were all created to be different parts of the body than maybe being Martha can be a season, or it might our whole life. Maybe Mary was closer to the heart of the body and Martha was the hands and feet, does that make sense?
I am definitely in a Martha season. And that is a great point that its not that Martha was busy getting lunch ready, the truth is somebody has to, it was the fact that she may have been grumbling in her head and saying to herself it isn’t fair that she is working while Mary is just sitting there. She wasn’t happily getting lunch ready. And as busy moms it can be easy to get busy and complain and grumble. But instead we should find the joy and be happy we have kids and a family to serve! Jesus said he came to serve not to be served…so we should serve too with a happy Mary heart!
Yes!! Thank you for sharing this with me. It helps to know that I am not alone.
So needed this! Martha gets so much criticism, but we need to remember that she was really trying to serve others. Like Martha, we get distracted with our serving. We start out thinking of others, but then start focusing on ourselves. Happens to all of us, doesn’t it? You’re right … we can serve as Martha did, and all the while, beholding our Lord, like Mary.
Thanks!! I was hoping this post would come across correctly. 🙂 I had an older woman at Bible Study this past year tell me one of the biggest things she regrets was telling young/new mommas they needed to spend more time with Jesus instead of encouraging them that they were in a season and they would have more time later.
This is a lovely post, but I’m a Mary ALL the way. You can tell by how dirty my house is, LOL! I had a much harder time when the kids were little and had their challenges too to stay focused on God for too long. Now I try to do it daily as the precious “little ones” days are nearly gone 🙁
Aww! 🙂 Well, there needs to be Marys and Marthas, so someone can stand in the gap. 🙂
Yeah–Momma guilt and spiritual guilt can both sneak up on you. So often it’s not that we don’t want to spend time with the Lord, it’s that we let our idea of the perfect get in the way of the good. I’ve had to learn that something is better than nothing. I may not get my ideal hour long quiet time every day, but I can at least find time to do something. Sometimes we just need to accept grace and rest in what we can do–not beat ourselves up because it isn’t perfect.
That is a great way to look at it! Thanks for coming by and sharing Leigh!
This is a beautiful, wonderful post, Rebekah! Love it.
Thanks!! I hope it was an encouragement to you!
I’m not a momma, but I am married to one, I have one, and I am friends with several…..as a son, a husband, and a man, I’d like to say THANK YOU for this post! You are hitting on something that I will never understand – why a mother who gives her all still feels like she isn’t giving enough and always finds herself lacking. This post is beautiful and I pray it brings freedom to many families!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I hope your wife found it encouraging as well!
Hi Rebekah,
I love this so much. As a toddler-mama working outside the home with a husband in nursing school, this is definitely a Martha season.
“That we must make being Mary a priority or we are missing something.” This is something I struggled with for a while, just trying to get Martha to shut up for long enough that I can pretend I’m Mary. But like you said, Jesus’ point wasn’t that being busy and trying to do things is wrong, but that doing it for the sake of doing it, or for the sake of getting attention for doing it, takes you away from spending time with Jesus.
I’ve found if I care for my tasks particular to my vocation – through my job, my duties as a wife and mother, with joy and including Jesus in our day-to-day – saying prayers before meals and bedtimes, teaching my daughter about how God, finding time for daily readings and reflections – even if I don’t get quality Mary-time every day (or week), I don’t feel like a bad Martha. More like if Mary had had a house full of children when Jesus came and she had to keep getting up to wipe noses and nurse and separate a squabble and change a diaper and grab another snack for another toddler. That’s just such a hilarious scene to imagine.
That is such a good point Sarah!! Yes, a momma Mary with lots of littles running around. I love that!!
Thanks for sharing this! Yep, I’m in a Martha phase. It’s been that way for 16 years with littles every 3 years apart:)
I’m excited about the Mary phase, but then I’m not sure if I’ll try to become a Martha again 🙂
Haha!! I know what you mean, and once all your children are grown, it might be hard to set aside Martha…cause she gets sooo much done. I am looking forward to being able to study the Scriptures more in depth.
Oh, this is so good. Thank you for writing this!
<3
This is spot on. I definitely think the quiet time ideal of a cup of coffee and a journal and a Bible can be more defeating than helpful, sometimes. I grew up with my mom doing this, but this was after all her children were older and in school. It’s a different season. I do need silence and solitude in my life, but that doesn’t have to be my only prayer or devotional time. I’m lucky if I get that tiny space more than once a week. However, I’m learning that learning to pray, seek God, and find ways to incorporate His word into the middle of our busy days is just as (or maybe even more!) important. Thanks for a great post, Rebekah!
Yes!! It is just a season!! I’m seeing that more good so now that my boys are getting older. It is getting easier to get in some quiet time and good study, but some days it is definitely put to the back burner to deal with things that are going on now. One thing we just started was reading a devotional with the boys at breakfast, that has been super helpful for everyone!
I am in definitely a Martha season at the moment of my life. Serving, serving, serving, but I have heart like Mary. Through this season I rest on God’s great grace.
Yes!! That is all that we can do! Rest in His grace and look for His love. <3