5 Things I Learned on My Second Postpartum Journey
Sarah from Now One Foot is here today sharing some things that she learned on her second postpartum journey. If you are expecting a little one, soak in these words of wisdom from a momma of two. 🙂
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My husband and I welcomed our second child a few months ago (you can read his birth story here) and now that we have officially passed the fourth trimester, I’ve spent some time in quiet reflection on the things I’ve learned through my second postpartum journey.
1. You Need Help
Whether it’s your first, second or eighth birth, you are going to need help. In a perfect world you would have at least one other person home with you for several weeks after birth but that’s pretty rare today.
Even though it can be hard to ask for help, try to schedule friends, sisters, mom, etc. to come help you out. Let them wash your dishes, fold laundry, cook you food.
And don’t be afraid to simply ask for conversation. The first few weeks postpartum can be extremely isolating and your loved ones really do want to help, they just don’t always know how.
If you live far away from your friends or family, consider asking your church’s mom’s group or hiring a postpartum doula. Facebook groups have been a key way of connecting to other moms for me.
2. Hormones Don’t End at Birth
We talk a lot about the hormone changes during pregnancy and immediately following birth, but the hormone changes can last weeks or even longer, especially if you are breastfeeding. For me, I’ve noticed my hormones seem pretty unpredictable for the first 2-3 weeks and then spike again around 3 months postpartum.
Postpartum depression and anxiety are talked about a lot now, which is great, but it is also normal to experience pretty serious mood swings and have hours or days where you are miserable. That doesn’t make you a bad mom. Hormones are pretty powerful and you don’t have to either be perfectly happy or have PPD. If your mood issues are lasting for longer than a few days or feel unmanageable or extreme then please don’t be afraid to get the help you need and consult with your OB or midwife.
3. Food is Your Friend
There are memes aplenty about pregnant women eating everything in sight but I am never hungrier than I am while breastfeeding during the first 3-6 months.
I’ve found eating regularly to be even more important while caring for two children because when I’m hungry, it is so hard to be a good mom. I’m much more likely to be short, impatient and yell at my 3 year old when I’m hungry than I am when I make sure I’m snacking regularly.
Quick Kitchen Tips:
*Stock up on healthy, easy snacks like nuts, healthy granola bars, cheese and plain yogurt if you handle dairy, as well as fruit and veggies.
*Cook up a big batch of quinoa and chicken and prep fruit and veggies on the weekend or a day when you have help. I’m particularly fond of snacks my daughter and I both like to cut back on snack prep time.
*Also find a water bottle you can drop without spilling and drink with one hand. Because toddler.
4. Women are So Different Than Men
I’ve also noticed this during pregnancy but men and women process things so differently. I’ve heard some say that men are usually a trimester behind women and I think that’s pretty accurate.
During the early postpartum days it can be hard for dad to bond with the baby or know what you need. Tell him specific things he can do to help you and don’t shy away from handing him the baby while you shower or take a few minutes for yourself.
Just remember you have hormones and months of feeling the baby move to help your bonding so it may take a while for your husband to get into a groove with the baby and it may be especially hard if you usually handle your older ones’ routines and he has to step in.
Be patient as he adjusts and, once you are ready, get help so you can have date night. Even if baby comes with, try to devote a little time each week to your marriage.
5. Seriously, You Need Help
Have you ever tried to make three meals a day or clean the house while juggling and with one hand tied behind your back?
That’s basically what life is like with a newborn, especially if you have other children who are still not very independent.
The fact that our culture has evolved to expect women to accomplish this, daily, for months, with no help is just not feasible. No wonder moms everywhere are feeling burned out.
Get. Help.
Get practice asking for it during the rough first trimester. Start figuring out a postpartum help schedule or, better yet, get a friend to handle the schedule and logistics for you. Hire a postpartum doula. Take the necessary steps during your pregnancy to prepare for the optimum environment to begin your motherhood journey with your newest little. Figure out what stresses you out and get an organization system in place asap to help keep those in check. It will go a long way to helping with your postpartum journey.
Sarah is mom to a 3 year old and a 3 month old and blogs over at Now One Foot where she shares her experiences and encouragement for moms of young children on the journey to a healthier, more Christ-centered life in simple, manageable steps, one foot at a time. You can join her on Facebook and Pinterest.
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I love the emphasis on help! I didn’t do this in my first pregnancy, and pray we have community when we move in case we ever do have baby #2! Great tips.