If you are looking forward to the birth of your little one you may also be looking forward to the return to “normal.” You want to get back into routine as soon as possible; you want to fit into your prepregnancy clothes as soon as possible, you want to your stiches to heal quickly, etc.
There seems to be a thought in the American culture that we as women and mothers are supposed to grow babies for nine months, undergoing major physical and psychological changes during that time, then go through the labor and delivery process and be able to go back to “normal” in 3-5 days.
Momma, I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t the case. You will probably never go back to your prepregnancy normal. But you will have a new normal.
You will adapt to little sleep, to having a little one who depends on you for everything, to less time for yourself and your things {please don’t push these aside all together though} and you will create a new normal for your life. It has happened to me after the birth of each child. It has happened to each momma that I have known.
Today, let’s talk about getting back into routine. Many women feel like they aren’t able to nail down a good routine or flow to their day until six months to a year. This is NORMAL.
It is NORMAL to have days where things flow smoothly and you are able to get the things done that you want to; to have baby take naps at the times that you thought, eat around the times that you thought, and to poop when you think they will.
It is also NORMAL for baby to fight naps, for teething or just because they are learning some new skill and want to practice it all. the. time. It is NORMAL for baby to want to nurse all day, both for nutrients during a growth spurt and for comfort when they don’t feel well.
During these crazy weeks of the postpartum period, the six weeks that culture says it is “okay” to recover and feel overwhelmed, you can start getting back into a little routine, but don’t think that you will be able to bounce back like you did after having a weeks’ vacation. The first six weeks of motherhood will NOT feel like a vacation. Your body is undergoing massive changes. Your uterus is shrinking from the size of a balloon to the size of a golf ball. Your milk is coming in and your body is trying to figure out just how much milk your baby needs.
Here is a simple and easy way to feel like you are getting back into routine after the birth of your baby.
- Sit down and think about the top three things that you NEED to have done at the end of the day. For some women this will be taking a shower, getting dressed, and washing the dishes. For others it will be washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, and putting on makeup.
- Write down your three things. As you get them done during the day, between nursing, napping, diapering, burping, and feeding yourself, cross them off. It might take all day to get those three things done, at least during the first week, but soon you will get them done in just a couple of hours.
- After you are able to get those first few things done, add another two things to your list. Work on those like the others.
If you have other children this will definitely be harder and more time consuming. For the first six weeks after your newest addition is born you may just want to work on your older child’s routine. Try to keep things similar to their normal. If you have a naptime or bed time routine work on getting that in before you start worrying about your dishes and vacuuming.
Momma, remember that you will have days that are great, and days that aren’t. Give yourself grace and start over again the next morning.
Remember: after the first six weeks are over, it is NORMAL to still feel like you don’t have a routine down. It is NORMAL to be overwhelmed somedays. It is NORMAL to still feel like you need help after the initial postpartum period. It is different for each momma and family, some will feel back into a good routine after six weeks, for some it will be three months, for others it will be six to nine months, and still others will take a year or more.
Here are 2 FREE printables to help you as you get back into routine + as you create a nursing pattern with your baby.
The first one is a weekday one to help you see how much you are actually doing. Use the steps above to help you as you fill in the schedule.
The second one is to help you see where your time is going and also to help you pinpoint problems in your breastfeeding relationship if you have them. There are four sections- one to write down your nursing times and sides if you are only nursing one side at a time, one to record wet and dirty diapers, one to record what you are eating, and another to record what you are drinking. You can fill out these sheets and then take them to the pediatrician or lactation consultant if needed. If your baby is colicky it could be from something you are eating look at your records and see if there is a pattern for when baby is fussy and what you are eating on those days. What you are drinking could also cause problems- lots of caffeine, not enough water, acidic juices, etc.
The initial postpartum period is hard and it may feel like you will never get back into a routine, hopefully these printables will help you as you start this new life as a mother.
These are great suggestions. Me and my husband were talking about this a few days ago. I think the mentality of going right back to normal after birth can lead to postpartum depression. I really love this post and I’m going to follow it when my little one arrives.
Yes! That is something I never thought about before, but the disappointment that comes after not being able to meet our expectations, whether they were attainable or not, has to come out somehow.
Everything about this post is so true and relatable for me. It took me about a year to establish a routine and I felt guilty for that.. Now that I’ve seen its normal I’m feeling much better! It’s so hard to adjust to such a life shifting change. But what an amazing change it is!
It is definitely not something that you should feel guilty about!!
Having a new little one in the house is so wonderful and we need to make sure that we are supporting women and allowing them to take the time that they need to get back into a routine.
Great tips! It’s not the easier task getting back to routines after you have a baby. However, the tips you provide will make the task a lot easier for new moms. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad that you find this useful!! Thanks so much for coming over and commenting, Tasheena!
Not only is your advice awesome, I just love that you provide the printables to go along with the journey. It can be such a struggle to get into a routine and these resources take a lot of the guess work out of it.
Thanks!! I am a list maker and planner, so i always love it when I am able to make something that makes the whole daily routine a little easier.
When I had my first baby, I definitely had no idea shat normal was anymore! But you’re right, you do find a new normal, and you adjust. 🙂
These are really great suggestions!
Yes!! This is a great post! You see celebrities all the time in the media who have their kids and then appear looking flawless on the red carpet days or weeks later. They’re lives weren’t “normal” before then! We put so much pressure on ourselves to get everything done. Right after my daughter was born, I was happy some days when I simply got a load of laundry done between the feedings, changings and naps. It’s so important for us moms to remember to stop and enjoy the little moments with our kids and not stress about every little thing! Thank you for telling new moms this!
Oh my goodness! I feel bad for celebrity mommas!! I can’t imagine the stress that they feel the need to put themselves under to get back into their clothes, or down to a certain weight.
Yes, we need to slow down and love on the babies while they are little. 🙂
i love just having a goal of three things! Its so good and realistic! Great post.
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Thanks!! 🙂
So relatable!! Wish somebody had warned me that it will never get back to “normal”
I still have days where I’m out of sorts and can’t get anything done! I love that you added mama drinks and food on that list-it’s so important to take care of yourself and being hydrated and getting proper nutrients will keep you sane!
Yes, it is!! I also thought that this way if baby is having issues it will be easier to pinpoint how baby reacts when you have certain things or if that is even the problem. 🙂
Before I had my first baby a couple years ago, I tried to prepare myself by going into a day with NO expectations. That way, there was no failure 🙂 That was obviously not a realistic way to go about life (I probably abandoned the idea very quickly…but postpartum brain must have kicked in because I can’t remember!). Trying to have a small list to accomplish would be a much better way to approach each day with a newborn, and with small kids in general. Little goals, little victories, all day long!
Yes! I even love writing down things that I have already done! It makes me feel like I have done something, and for mommas in the postpartum period that can make everything seem so much easier!